I've Got A Friend!

Hello Everyone!
Happy Tuesday!
It's 5:18 and I haven't slept!
I am working on a project for school but you know what, at least I am working on it!
Progress!
I am still committed to writing in this blog every day, but one person in particular motivated me to write right now.
I am going to use gender neutral pronouns and will refrain from using names to give them privacy.

Anyway, I have made a friend.
They used to go to my school, but they are currently taking a break.
I never really spent time with them before they left.
We both had mutual friends,  but we never had a conversation or spent time together.
I added them as a friend on Facebook, and my news feed began getting filled with pictures supporting those who were recovering from eating disorders.
I immediately began admiring this person.
Finally, at the end of this week, I messaged them saying I thought that they were "Pretty awesome."
It was national eating disorder awareness week, so I thought it was the best time for me to reach out because they had inspired me so much by their posts.

Whoever said that you need to see a person face-to-face to have a connection was a liar.  At least in my case.
I may have only had conversations with this person over messages, but I already feel like I have a friend a person who is there to support me, and I am there to support them.

This is a new and welcomed feeling.

Good sleeps everyone!

Turner

Winter

27 February 2014

Hello InternetWorld! I missed you!

The past few weeks have been crazy.

Let's talk.

I had a great Valentine's Day and had a wonderful time with my friend as we went as "Friend Dates" to   a show.

My parents took me and my sister to see Pippin on Broadway! They play alone was a surprise, but I didn't even know that my sister would be traveling to see me!

Life's been kind of difficult as of late but I'm going uphill yet again.

This week is National Eating Awareness week. 

As someone who has struggled with body image for most of her life, I think this week is an important time to reach out and tell people (authentically) that they are beautiful.

Society today has such a stigma of what "beauty" is, and it's all rubbish.

This is a short post but I'm going to publish it anyway because I need to recommit to posting on a daily basis.

Let's Talk About Love. 7 February 2014

I just woke up!

I wrote about love in my notebook that I have designated to be the thought bubble of this blog, so I technically did write.... I just didn't type it up or post it?

Let's See what I wrote. Shall we?

7 February 2014

             I've been thinking a lot about love.  One wish I have for this year is to fall in love. I'm not even 20 (yet. Soon!) and I can confidently say that I have been in love twice.

            If someone asked me what it feels like to be in love, I would be in a pickle.   In my opinion, you can never forget what it feels like to be in love.  It is always something new and indescribable using words.

            Both the experiences I have had of being in love have been different. “But then Turner,” you may ask, “how do you know when you’re in love?”

            Great questions! I don’t have an answer.

As I share with you all yesterday, I have an ongoing communication with myself that in my life I am always “too late.”

            I have only realized being in love after the two people I cared about had stopped being in my life. 

            That is why, at age 19, I have also experienced heartache, and my heart breaking.

            “And what does that feel like, Turner?”

            I don’t know, but if you haven’t felt it before…

[I felt sick inside and out. My heart physically hurt. The world was spinning around me. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” it’s all I wanted to say.  It’s all I ever wanted to say.  I wanted to be with you.  I could not bring myself to imagine my life without you. It wasn’t possible.  It wasn’t possible for me not to be with you and yet….]

            Maybe that’s one way of describing it.  It is an example of most of my teenage-angst writing. 

            Being in love was like having a song that is your life, constantly playing in your head.  You have found another part of yourself.  A person that is so much a part of your life that they are part of who you are, almost at a physical level.  So much “you” that part of your heart, willing or no, has been given to them.  That you two are in some way part of the same idea, the same person. 

Magic.

            I think that every time you fall in love, it feels different.  I agree with my father who says that you can never fully fall out of love with anyone.

            There are moments where I find myself again feeling being in love with someone from my past.  But it is in the past.  I am no longer deeply in love with anyone.  And while it’s still in the past, it’s a little bitter-sweet.  I would say over all that it’s very nostalgic:  re-living an old you for just a short period of time.

            I was playing a song on guitar yesterday and suddenly I felt…. Different. 

I felt as though part of my body was in a different place and time.  I found myself nearly crying while plucking out the tune to a song with so much feeling attached to it. 

            I can relate to so many songs that I hear.  I almost have a knack for finding a song and holding on to it, or not being able to listen to it because it has a certain memory for me.

I’ll write a list of the songs later.

This counts for yesterday!!!!

Loves,

Turner

Okay so I know it's 12:34 am....

I'm still counting this as Thursday's post!
I have yet to go to bed so.... it counts!
Today I woke up early so I could go to the post office to pick up a book that I needed to read for my 11 o'clock class.
The path down to the post office was ho-mah-gawd I nearly twisted my ankle.
After getting back to my dorm, I read my book until class and then went to work. (YAY WORK!)
After work, I went back to my room and read articles for my Anthropology class.
I also practiced guitar!
I recently got a new backpack.  The clips attached to the zippers are rather small so I decided to use nylon to make them longer.
I have decided to make a friendship bracelet band based on the Gay Pride Flag, and another one based on the Asexual Flag.  Both of these flags are important parts of my life.
I recently shared a document about the 100 things I love about myself.
I'm asking all of you if I should post it tomorrow?!?!?!
Looking to see if there's an audience. (Besides you.... Mom.)
Hehe.
Anyway, one of the items written down on my list is my sexuality.
I go to a school where I didn't feel pressure to conform to societies definitions of sexuality and gender.
This has allowed me to proudly identify as queer, and as a panromantic grey-a/demisexual.  (Oh my goodness, are you confused?) I am in no way an expert in the subject matter, but I'm willing to answer any questions you may have! Woo! Questions! So mysterious.
I have also picked out a book to read in my free time.  I am going to read "The Fault in Our Stars" which I've been hearing about through the Vlogbrothers (an amazing youtube channel) since the book became public, but missed out on the chance to get the pre-ordered signed copy.
I've tried to take more actions to prove that there is nothing like the present.
I have an ongoing conversation in my head that everything is "too late" and I am working on correcting that statement by doing things like reading a now-famous book because I have always thought of it as a book with great potential, and when else am I going to read it if not now?

Today's picture is a drawing I made of the "Today is Awesome" Logo.  It's far more detailed (though not as detailed a some others) compared to the design on the t-shirt, but I thought I'd share it to give a bit more info into Today is Awesome!

The logo is a combination of a butterfly and a flower.

Maybe I'll make some more soon?

Ever,

Turner

P.S For Mum: I will use that photo you sent to the Today is Awesome e-mail tomorrow! I forgot it existed until now... hehe. <3

Today's "Photo of Awesome"