I've Got A Friend!

Hello Everyone!
Happy Tuesday!
It's 5:18 and I haven't slept!
I am working on a project for school but you know what, at least I am working on it!
Progress!
I am still committed to writing in this blog every day, but one person in particular motivated me to write right now.
I am going to use gender neutral pronouns and will refrain from using names to give them privacy.

Anyway, I have made a friend.
They used to go to my school, but they are currently taking a break.
I never really spent time with them before they left.
We both had mutual friends,  but we never had a conversation or spent time together.
I added them as a friend on Facebook, and my news feed began getting filled with pictures supporting those who were recovering from eating disorders.
I immediately began admiring this person.
Finally, at the end of this week, I messaged them saying I thought that they were "Pretty awesome."
It was national eating disorder awareness week, so I thought it was the best time for me to reach out because they had inspired me so much by their posts.

Whoever said that you need to see a person face-to-face to have a connection was a liar.  At least in my case.
I may have only had conversations with this person over messages, but I already feel like I have a friend a person who is there to support me, and I am there to support them.

This is a new and welcomed feeling.

Good sleeps everyone!

Turner

Winter

27 February 2014

Hello InternetWorld! I missed you!

The past few weeks have been crazy.

Let's talk.

I had a great Valentine's Day and had a wonderful time with my friend as we went as "Friend Dates" to   a show.

My parents took me and my sister to see Pippin on Broadway! They play alone was a surprise, but I didn't even know that my sister would be traveling to see me!

Life's been kind of difficult as of late but I'm going uphill yet again.

This week is National Eating Awareness week. 

As someone who has struggled with body image for most of her life, I think this week is an important time to reach out and tell people (authentically) that they are beautiful.

Society today has such a stigma of what "beauty" is, and it's all rubbish.

This is a short post but I'm going to publish it anyway because I need to recommit to posting on a daily basis.

Let's Talk About Love. 7 February 2014

I just woke up!

I wrote about love in my notebook that I have designated to be the thought bubble of this blog, so I technically did write.... I just didn't type it up or post it?

Let's See what I wrote. Shall we?

7 February 2014

             I've been thinking a lot about love.  One wish I have for this year is to fall in love. I'm not even 20 (yet. Soon!) and I can confidently say that I have been in love twice.

            If someone asked me what it feels like to be in love, I would be in a pickle.   In my opinion, you can never forget what it feels like to be in love.  It is always something new and indescribable using words.

            Both the experiences I have had of being in love have been different. “But then Turner,” you may ask, “how do you know when you’re in love?”

            Great questions! I don’t have an answer.

As I share with you all yesterday, I have an ongoing communication with myself that in my life I am always “too late.”

            I have only realized being in love after the two people I cared about had stopped being in my life. 

            That is why, at age 19, I have also experienced heartache, and my heart breaking.

            “And what does that feel like, Turner?”

            I don’t know, but if you haven’t felt it before…

[I felt sick inside and out. My heart physically hurt. The world was spinning around me. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” it’s all I wanted to say.  It’s all I ever wanted to say.  I wanted to be with you.  I could not bring myself to imagine my life without you. It wasn’t possible.  It wasn’t possible for me not to be with you and yet….]

            Maybe that’s one way of describing it.  It is an example of most of my teenage-angst writing. 

            Being in love was like having a song that is your life, constantly playing in your head.  You have found another part of yourself.  A person that is so much a part of your life that they are part of who you are, almost at a physical level.  So much “you” that part of your heart, willing or no, has been given to them.  That you two are in some way part of the same idea, the same person. 

Magic.

            I think that every time you fall in love, it feels different.  I agree with my father who says that you can never fully fall out of love with anyone.

            There are moments where I find myself again feeling being in love with someone from my past.  But it is in the past.  I am no longer deeply in love with anyone.  And while it’s still in the past, it’s a little bitter-sweet.  I would say over all that it’s very nostalgic:  re-living an old you for just a short period of time.

            I was playing a song on guitar yesterday and suddenly I felt…. Different. 

I felt as though part of my body was in a different place and time.  I found myself nearly crying while plucking out the tune to a song with so much feeling attached to it. 

            I can relate to so many songs that I hear.  I almost have a knack for finding a song and holding on to it, or not being able to listen to it because it has a certain memory for me.

I’ll write a list of the songs later.

This counts for yesterday!!!!

Loves,

Turner

Okay so I know it's 12:34 am....

I'm still counting this as Thursday's post!
I have yet to go to bed so.... it counts!
Today I woke up early so I could go to the post office to pick up a book that I needed to read for my 11 o'clock class.
The path down to the post office was ho-mah-gawd I nearly twisted my ankle.
After getting back to my dorm, I read my book until class and then went to work. (YAY WORK!)
After work, I went back to my room and read articles for my Anthropology class.
I also practiced guitar!
I recently got a new backpack.  The clips attached to the zippers are rather small so I decided to use nylon to make them longer.
I have decided to make a friendship bracelet band based on the Gay Pride Flag, and another one based on the Asexual Flag.  Both of these flags are important parts of my life.
I recently shared a document about the 100 things I love about myself.
I'm asking all of you if I should post it tomorrow?!?!?!
Looking to see if there's an audience. (Besides you.... Mom.)
Hehe.
Anyway, one of the items written down on my list is my sexuality.
I go to a school where I didn't feel pressure to conform to societies definitions of sexuality and gender.
This has allowed me to proudly identify as queer, and as a panromantic grey-a/demisexual.  (Oh my goodness, are you confused?) I am in no way an expert in the subject matter, but I'm willing to answer any questions you may have! Woo! Questions! So mysterious.
I have also picked out a book to read in my free time.  I am going to read "The Fault in Our Stars" which I've been hearing about through the Vlogbrothers (an amazing youtube channel) since the book became public, but missed out on the chance to get the pre-ordered signed copy.
I've tried to take more actions to prove that there is nothing like the present.
I have an ongoing conversation in my head that everything is "too late" and I am working on correcting that statement by doing things like reading a now-famous book because I have always thought of it as a book with great potential, and when else am I going to read it if not now?

Today's picture is a drawing I made of the "Today is Awesome" Logo.  It's far more detailed (though not as detailed a some others) compared to the design on the t-shirt, but I thought I'd share it to give a bit more info into Today is Awesome!

The logo is a combination of a butterfly and a flower.

Maybe I'll make some more soon?

Ever,

Turner

P.S For Mum: I will use that photo you sent to the Today is Awesome e-mail tomorrow! I forgot it existed until now... hehe. <3

Today's "Photo of Awesome"

5 February 2014 and Photos?!

Hello everyone!
Two days and counting!
We had a snow day today.  This wasn't all too awesome.
My chemistry class was canceled and that means that the two days of review we had scheduled out will now be replaced by lessons we missed.
I woke up at 9 and made some coffee.
Then I got to organizing my Anthropology class binder.
I played the guitar today and did a very interesting exercise where I took out a piece of paper and using pencil just allowed my brain to wonder.
I have six trains of thought constantly going on in my brain.
I will probably end up elaborating more on that fun fact through my blog posts.
Anyway, I have these six trains of thought and I just... drew. It was quite an interesting experience.
All I had to eat today was oatmeal.  And it wasn't even cooked.
I just put some cold water over the oats and ate them.
I remember my father saying that he used to do that so "cold oatmeal" as I like to call it has become a staple food during the school year.
I bought lots of books on Amazon.
The post office  was closed today along with many other buildings on campus so I couldn't pick up the book for my class tomorrow.
My curent plan is to get up at 8 and walk down to the post office.
I will pick up the book(s) and then read as much as I can before class.
Makin' it work! Woo!

I also have a wonderful cool awesome idea!
I want to include a picture at the end of each blog.
It will sometimes be a drawing or an old picture, or a picture from that day!
What is REALLY awesome is that I want YOUR photos to be included!
If you have a photo that you would like to see at the end of a blog entry, send a photo with a three sentence-long caption.

Send the caption and the picture to: todayisawesomeemail@gmail.com  . I will respond with a confirmation and then you can expect to see your photo at the end of a blog entry!

So exciting...... ^_^

Today's "Picture of Awesome" is a picture of the picture of (inception!!!) what my brain was thinking.

Commence the over-analyzing!

Love to all,

Turner

4 February 2014

4 February 2014

Hello Everyone!
Or all two of you?
Or just me?

I've decided I want to write about my life.
I've tried writing in a diary, but it never seems to stick.
I think I write best when I have an audience to write to.
Therefore, I'm going to write to you.
Whoever you are.
Probably me, ten years in the future.
So here we go!

Today:

My anthropology class was interesting.  We talked about sheep!
I've changed my concentration and am currently working on International Relations and Conflict Resolution in the Middle East.
In my Anthropology Class: "Spaces of Exclusion, Places of Belonging," we are looking at how people define space and define space.

In my other class (aside from General Chemistry II) "Women and Gender in the Middle East," I find myself needing to relate back to the text otherwise I will continue to think about my year in Jordan.

After my anthropology class, I went to the library and organized papers for my Middle East class.

In my night Chemistry Group Conference, I participated!
I raised my hand, and when I was struggling, my friend stood up for me and told the girls whispering the answer to let me figure it out.
Friends have been an interesting topic for me as of late, and it's nice to know that I do have people in my life who support me.

ALSO ALSO ALSO!
Random acts of kindness!
I was walking back to my room when I saw someone struggling with a package they had picked up from the post office.
I went up to them and asked if they needed help.
I proceeded to help this student carry their package back to their dorm.
We had a wonderful, short conversation.


I've worked on cutting cigarettes out of my life.  I've decided not to smoke in February, and today I smoked 4 cigarettes.
The day before I smoked 1.
I am really committed to not smoking, and am going to be honest with you all about my progress.

Shway shway.

Peace and Love,

Turner

Conference Month_02

That's it

That’s it.

I’m updating my blog.

There is so much I want to talk about and so much that I need to do.

I’ve been working on papers while still having fun at college.

I want to talk about the shooting in Connecticut, and about my trip into the city today.

I want to talk about this really cool blind-folded poetry reading I’m going to this week, and I want to talk about the radio show reading of “A Christmas Carol” that I went to tonight.

In my acting class, we have an exercise called: I feel, I want, I need.

I think I’ll use that structure for today’s blog.

I feel:

I feel exhausted.

I feel like I have nothing left to give.

I feel excited about my dinner with my friends tomorrow.

I feel shocked.

I feel lost.

I feel exhilarated.

I feel like I’m all closed in.

I feel overwhelmed.

I feel grateful

I want:

I want to be home.

I want to concentrate.

I want to show my sympathies for families who lost children in this week’s school shooting.

I want to cry, and to laugh, and to be held.

I want to see my sister.

I want a hug.

I want to paint my nails green.

I want to clean my room.

I want to run around.

I want to laugh.

I need:

I need to calm down.

I need to relax.

I need to concentrate.

I need to write.

I need to show how much I love everyone.

I need to reach out to my loved ones.

I need to show how much I appreciate life.

This is very interesting because I usually put very little down in the area of “I need.”

However, after this week, I feel like there is so much that I need to do.

I am working, and procrastinating, and I am going to get everything done.

I’ve started doing a photo of the day, so feel free to submit any awesome photos to: todayisawesomeemail@gmail.com

I hope you are all safe and sound.

I love you all so much and thank you for taking the time to read my blog even though it’s late.

-Katie

Conference Month

Hello Everyone!

Sorry for posting on Thursday, but I have been awake all night so it still feels like Wednesday to me.
It's nearing the end on my first semester of college.
It's crazy to think about really.
I've been pretty busy this past week.
I'm working on two papers at the moment.  One is about air pollution in Cairo, and the other discusses the symbolism of the pomegranate throughout history.
It's a lot of fun, but it's also pretty overwhelming.
If I wasn't addicted to caffeine before, I am now.
I realize that my updates are becoming shorter and shorter and I'm not discussing how I make every day awesome.
I'm about to fix this.
Over the past three days I have slept for about five hours.  Five hours total.
Last "night"  I slept for an hour an a half.
I've always had a difficult time sleeping, but I've found something that allows me to sleep a little bit better.
It's a website: http://sleepyti.me
I'm not being paid or whatever to talk about this website, and I'm just writing that "paid" comment because I am so there.
Anywho, this website suggests when to wake up if you are about to head to bed, or what time you should go to bed if you need to wake up for a 9 am class.
Sleep cycles last about 90 min and it takes me about half an hour to fall asleep, so I only need to set aside two hours in order to fit in the perfect "power nap."
This is what I did last night.
So although I did not get nearly enough sleep, I am not drowsy because I woke up at the end of my sleep cycle.
When I don't get enough sleep I become rather loopy.  I don't make sense and I stare into the distance and space out.
How do I make this awesome?  By freakin' sayin' so.
Really, I just laugh at myself in a wonderful, not degrading way.
It's completely understandable in my point of view for someone who is sleep deprived to act in a rather silly manner.
Now don't get me wrong, I am still respectful and I pay attention (as much as I can) in class, but what I'm saying is don't beat up on yourself if you feel weird, because it's normal to feel weird when you're working off of an hour and a half of sleep because an hour and a half is not enough sleep.
I do need to get back to work, but I just want to say to all you lovely readers that you are AWESOME and that you add to the awesomeness of my life.
Every day is as awesome as you make it, and TODAY IS AWESOME BECAUSE I SAY SO!
^_^

-Katie

Thanksgiving and Libraries

Hello Everyone!

I hope you all had awesome Thanksgivings.
I went home last weekend and had a blast hanging out with my sister and other great people.
My family hosts Thanksgiving, and I always enjoy helping out with cooking and cleaning and taking people's coats.
This year, due to technological difficulties, I watched the Patriots cream the Jets instead of watching Swan Princess.  Although I did miss singing my heart out to "far longer than forever" and "this is my idea of fun" and "no fear" and "no more mister nice guy" and every other song, I did enjoy watching my team play an amazing game. :)
My weekend also included a Lord of the Rings marathon, and a bit of fun at a thrift store.
This week the Library at my school became open 24/7 until the end of the semester.
I haven't seen it yet, but apparently people bring tents and start living here.
I know that I will eventually do this.  Living here (I'm in the library right now) that is.
I've already stocked up on instant oatmeal and I have tons of tea bags.  I have a pillow and blanket that can fit easily into a bag, and I already have my territory staked out.
I think next week when I pull an all-nighter, I'll move-in to my temporary home.
Although I will be terribly busy next week, I will keep you all up to date on my crazy life.
I would just like to acknowledge that I did not update my blog last week, and I am recommitting to posting something every Wednesday.
Thanks for following my awesome journey.
Also, I really have no idea who reads my blog.... I have no idea if anyone reads my blog....
But for anyone reading this, YOU ARE AWESOME!

-Katie

Sweeney Todd

DRESS REHEARSAL FOR SWEENEY TODD!!!

SO MUCH CRAZINESS!!!!

SO MUCH EXCITEMENT AND AWESOMENESS!

Not much time to write, but just wanted to shout out to all the amazing people that helped put this production together!

I auditioned for Sweeney Todd during orientation week and now it’s finally coming together.  We’re practicing in our performance space and…..

That was written a few days ago.  Now it’s Sunday, the day of our FINAL performance.  This has been such an amazing experience. 

Sweeney is Over!!!!

No words.

Rocky Horror

Hello Awesome people!

This week has been pretty crazy.  We had a snowstorm and I got to see someone experience being in snow for the first time! It was wonderful.

I’ve been feeling pretty sick lately, but everyone has been very understanding which is such a beautiful experience.

Tonight I am going to go see “Rocky Horror Picture Show.”  I am so excited and scared at the same time….

I spent most of this week trying to recover form being sick.  I’m in a musical and we’ve started tech week so it’s really important that I take care of my health.

My current remedy:

-       lots of vitamin C

-       Zinc

-       Tea with lots of honey

-       Hot water with lemon and honey

-       Orange juice

-       Oranges

-       Citrus

-       More vitamin C

-       More more tea

It may not be perfect, but I’m a college student and it’s working out well enough.

I’ll let you all know how “Rock Horror” went!

-Katie

Hurricane Sandy

Hurricane Sandy was crazy.
My home is currently without power, water, everything.
I am at college, and am grateful to have power and internet back.
Classes have been cancelled for the entire week.
We actually went on lockdown on Sunday at 11:30 pm and got to go out of our building Tuesday afternoon.
Today is Awesome because I have power and internet and I am going to comedy classes and lectures regarding Dante's Inferno.
You are all awesome people!
Katie

For the Longest Time

Hello everyone!
It has been over a month, in fact, it has been over two months since I have posted in this blog.
When this blog was created, I stated that I would write and post weekly.
I did not do this, and I would like to acknowledge the impact it had on this community.
Not keeping my word means that I am out of integrity, and that is starting to become more and more apparent in my life.
Therefore, I am recommitting to writing at least once a week.
I'm in college now, and now that I am two months in, I am positive that I have picked the right college.
I am taking both dancing and acting classes as well as an Environmental Chemistry class and an Mythology course.
I am meeting lots of new people and having lots of fun getting used to this new community.
College has really helped point out areas in my life where there is room for growth.
I have to clean my section of my room at least once a week because it gets crowded with clothes, library books and food.
Also, the idea of freshman 15 scares me!!!! The game I am taking on is not checking me weight at all.
I joined the cross country team, so hopefully I have gained weight due to the fact that muscle weighs more than fat.  Therefore, checking my weight would be pointless.
Checking my weight would be pointless anyway, because weight doesn't mean anything, it's all about how you feel about your body.
Today is Awesome because I acknowledging to the world that I am self-concious about my body, but I KNOW that I am beautiful. I no longer fish for compliments or say that I hate my body because I have an amazing body and I am now working on not worrying about how I look all the time, or questioning whether something makes me look a certain way because I look perfect just the way I am. ^_^
YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!
I only have one class on Wednesday so I will be updating this blog every Wednesday.
You are all amazing.

-Katie

Hello Everyone!

Last Year my friend Ariel encouraged me to write a list containing 100 things that I love about myself.  The list took over 3 hours to write, but it was an amazing experience that I encouraged everyone to do when I posted the list to Facebook.

This year I decided to share my “100 Things I Love About Myself List: 2012” with this awesome community.  As I did last year, I encourage everyone to take on writing a list.  You can post it here, post it on your own wall, or write it down on a scrap of paper.

A list like this requires self reflection, and it makes you realize how truly amazing you are.  My list contains a variety of shout outs, silly habits, fun facts, and self acknowledgement.

If you’d like to share your list with me, feel free to send it via email to: todayisawesomeemail@gmail.com

With the list, please tell me if I have permission to share some of the entries I receive to my tumblr, twitter, and my blog.

No matter who you share your list with (even if it’s just you, yourself and I,) please let me know that you took on this cool project. J

I am so looking forward to seeing the amazing lists that are going to be produced by this awesome community!

100 Things I Love About Myself 2012

1.     I can make people laugh

2.     I can sing

3.     I know how to Ballroom Dance (Thanks August!)

4.     I can act

5.     I know how to make paper cranes

a.     And boxes

b.     And lobsters

c.      And cherry blossoms

6.     I am willing to wake up early

7.     I am not afraid of frogs

8.     I am in love with pollywogs

9.     I know how to take a fish off a hook

10. I know how to fly fish

11. I can start the 4 horsepower motorboat

12. I am not afraid of leeches

13. I can climb trees

14. I love climbing mountains

15. I can recognize that I look great in a bikini (not being arrogant, just showing self esteem)

16. I can run in high heels

17. I know how to work my poodle-puff hair

18. I’m sincere

19. I’m self expressed

20.  I enjoy the taste of Moxie

21. I enjoy doing the dishes

22. I am more interested in bats than shooting starts

23. I love swimming at night

24. I make a lovely fire

25. I know how to execute lobsters

26. I know how to eat a lobster (a skill that not everybody possesses)

27. I believe a sunrise is worth a sleepless night

28. I know that my past actions are not representative of who I am today

29. I am willing to listen to all types of music (though metal is still a work in progress)

30. I know how to drill into metal (Thanks Uncle Chris!)

31. I can swim across my pond

32. I can tell if a cat’s colon is clear (thanks fat hamstah)

33. I know how to set a dinner table (It’s basic but important)

34. I know how to dive

35. I enjoy walking around barefoot

36. I am willing to try new foods

37. I love the smell of books

38. I believe that hand written letters are brilliant

39. I will always draw, though I may not show my artwork to the world

40. I dance around the kitchen when I am cooking or cleaning

41. I strongly hold to the opinion that leggings are not pants

42. I am an ENFJ: Extraverted intuitive Feeling Judging

43. I am a fruit bat

44. I dream about what my deamon would be (currently sticking to the opinion of my deamon being a rabbit)

45. I have played D&D (Thanks Will!)

46. I can quote most lines from all three Lord of the Rings movies (extended edition) and I can quote most lines from the Lord of the Rings BBC Radio Play (13 discs, 13 hours long)

47. I know who Snookie is. (I’m not saying I like Snookie (I’m rather neutral in that matter) I’m just happy that every year I seem to live less and less in a bubble.)

48. I write cliché letters (and occasionally, actually very rarely, give them to people)

49. I know how to make friendship bracelets (including a Greek wave design and a watermelon design!)

50. I have an amazing relationship with my sister

51. I have an amazing relationship with my parents, and with my extended family

52. I am a hopeless romantic

53. I make home-made gifts that regardless of their outcome are a recognized labor of love

54. I have written weekly letters to someone

55. I am a proud music geek!

56. I know how to play the flute

57. I can play several songs on the guitar

58. I can play several songs on the ukulele

59. I am teaching myself how to play the piano after giving it up 5 years ago

60. I cherish small moments in life

61. I am easily moved and inspired

62. I created a successful project and sold about 50 Today is Awesome Shirts!

63. I know how to tie-dye shirts

64. I am willing to laugh at myself

65. I know the difference between plaid and flannel

66. I know how to make hospital corners on a bed (sometimes)

67. I know there’s only one place to go to get strawberry rhubarb pie and blueberry doughnuts (Shout out to the Abbot Village Bakery)

68. I’m not afraid of the muck in the pond

69. I don’t need TV in my life to be happy (Netflix Watch Instantly on the other hand…)

70. I am a proud Treky

71. I will always find a way to bring up Jordan in a conversation

72. I enjoy both coffee and tea

73. I make awesome chocolate chip cookies

74. I enjoy watching plays

75. I love almost all Shakespeare plays (Romeo and Juliet is still a bit annoying)

76. I am willing to give James Joyce another chance

77. I believe in (annoying) over analysis

78. I appreciate nature

79. I enjoy making lists

80. I can play my day up to the minute

81. I can turn my hand 360°

82. I can make my left eye twitch (strange, but a talent none the less)

83. I know how to write in cursive

84. I give amazing hugs

85. I will always love Marry Poppins

86. I sing my heart out to sappy songs when no one’s home (and when they are)

87. I know I am loved by many

88. I believe in miracles

89. Making someone smile makes my day

90. I am willing to acknowledge myself for the impact I have in other peoples’ lives

91. I put my heart into most everything I do

92. I am willing to cry. I know that it’s okay to be sad.

93. I believe in (and love) Minnesota goodbyes

94. I happily throw myself into new situations

95. When falling asleep doesn’t work, I resort to dancing around my room

96. I love to dance in the rain

97. I love to swim in the rain

98. I have three amazing people in my life who remain my close, close friends despite only hanging out for five days every year. (I love you Tori Dave and Kim!)

99. I make myself responsible for my own happiness

100.I am awesome!